SlapClap

If we didn’t already know he was being followed around by cameras, for his brother’s documentary, we might all think that Joaquin was some mad, fraud genius. We all know though, don’t we?

“Pamela, I want you to keep your left nipple, and its animal facts, under control tonight. This evening is very important.”

“Did you say something Pamela?”

“Pamela please, put a muzzle on that thing.”

“For the love of- shut your nipple up, or I will shut up your nipple for you.”

“Pamelaaa!” (shakes fist)

What’s the over-under on how many times Orson Welles pissed himself in public? 50?

Carla Gugino’s ample bodice in Details.

Outback Steakhouse (not a sponsor)

I kind of cringe at 0:21. He came in too early, right? Theo you have got to hold it together out there. Stop going into your boy Pete Townsend or you guys are never going to land that gig as a hair care for men commercial. It’s like a symphony of middle-aged crises all being lied to at the same time, by the same underage girl. That, or the wall just came down and back then Germans were looking for new ways to celebrate feeling guilty. Nice holding a cigarette technique, though.

WSJ: Why did you decide to interview Al Sharpton?

Chris Rock: Al Sharpton was perfect for the film because of his hair. I didn’t choose him because he was Al Sharpton or an activist or anything, I chose him because he’s got this hair! I mean, the guy obviously puts a relaxer in his hair, so you knew he would have a perspective on this.

(Chris Rock talks about Good Hair)

Scott Pilgrim, Volume 5 hitting shelves February 4th. It’s a comic book, being turned into a movie, that’s not about superheroes- rather twee Canadians who have romances in the style of video games. P.S. internets: Lay off of Michael Cera. He’s not supposed to make informed career choices?

A new Grammy advertisement features Thom Yorke explaining why David Bowie’s video for “Ashes to Ashes” was an inspiration to him. Neither Radiohead or David Bowie will be performing at the actual awards, but don’t let that stop you from enjoying this commercial for an award show you most likely won’t watch, and if you were to watch it, it would only be because both of those musicians were scheduled to perform together, which they are not. Scheduled to perform: Coldplay! (via stereogum)

I’ve never been exactly clear as to what defines a slapclap. Until today. This commercial for Microsoft Songsmith is a slapclap. Totes. (via robhuebel)

Before we begin, I would just like to say I have nothing but the up most respect for Steve Martin and Martin Short. They are comedy royalty. Even Glick was funny. Shopgirl not so much, but it wasn’t supposed to be was it? Having clarified, please now read Steve and Martin take an Excellent Dump.

(more…)

Our first “Hey Ya!” President

(R.C. Hall is a hip-hop artist who likes to do quirky things, as in be the extra on 30 Rock who always wears a rubber glove)

What’s the funniest things you ever saw on the 30 Rock set (that wasn’t filmed)?

R.C. Hall: Funny? Not sure if this stuff is funny but Alec has great emotional outbursts and likes the set very cold temperature-wise. Tracy [Morgan] has had some hungover days and sick days but manages to run his lines regardless. Tina can be very funny off the cuff. Jack [McBrayer] snaps in and out of character like a pro. Jane [Krakowski] does a great black face.

(via the apiary)

…as studiously observed by Alex atop her perch over at the National Hoax. For intentional humor, read everything she writes. For unintentional boredom read the John Mayer blogs over at the Tiger Beat dot com homepage.

Unrelated: Some hilarious shoe thrown at Bush gifs.

It’s close. Someone google Sean Penn in Sweet and Lowdown please.

Whenever language finally does dies out and all we’ve got left to communicate with is our 23rd century technology for the deaf this will be the muted holographic allegory for “wanna have an ice cream orgy?” Those will be very popular by then.

This won’t be good. It’s hard enough fictionalizing an old dead musician (Cadillac Records) let alone one who just died. And when you do make that movie it’s supposed to have a VH1 logo. Then again tell that to Gus Van Sant. Also, biopics are as interesting as a math problem on a roller coaster, notable exceptions of course for Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story and Michael Jordan: An American Hero.

But none of that matters because when Biggie died in 1997 it put a bookend on the defining era of rap music- one that began in ’92 when radio stations got wind of Biggie’s mixtape freestyles. All of a sudden this happened: Nas first album, Jay-Z first album, Wu-Tang first album, Ghostface first album, Outkast first album, Snoop first album, Mobb Deep first album, Old Dirty Bastard first album, and the two best Tupac albums.

One ticket for Notorious please!

No wonder it all went bad. This felt like coaxing a minx into a fur trap. The results though are hard to argue. Suggestive nudity? Yes please. Experimental phase? Let me grab my lab coat. This may be the biggest promo-tour cock tease since Demi Moore in Striptease.