Worst Jazz Quotes

(pic via ifcharlieparker...)

A compilation of the worst jazz quotes of all-time:

“We’re here to have a ball.” -Art Blakey

“There is no such thing as a wrong note.” -Art Tatum

“Don’t worry, be happy.” -Bobby McFerrin

“I screw like I jazz.” -Sarah Vaughan

“Show me a St. Louis flop house and I’ll show you my penis.” -Count Basie

“What do you mean my wife is in the front row? It’s mistress night.” -Count Basie orchestra member

“Jazz is for an afternoon of low-pressure systems.” -Mark McEwen

“Give me a bouncy C; something I can really tie my sweater sleeves to.” -Saxby Chambliss

“Foreplay is for beginners.” -Rick James (out of context)

“Jazz is the ultimate drug, not unlike heroin. But then there can’t be two ultimate … okay heroin is the ultimate drug. Jazz is more like the invisible spiders in my bed.” -Weird Harold

“New jazz. You know like new coke?” -Anonymous, circa 1985

“It’s like hip hop is our jazz, just like jazz was their piano ballroom music,” -Fab 5 Freddy

“There is scene in Jerry Maguire where babysitter, who is real jazz fan, lists all the coolest recordings you should own. Write them down and collect them.” -AOL chat transcript