How to lose the New Yorker cartoon caption contest
The New Yorker has never had to work a day, and they refuse to publish my submissions to their cartoon caption contest. I have no idea why.
“You work and you work and you work. You meet with people you don’t like, that you don’t know, that you don’t even want to know. And you try to sell them things and they try to sell you things, you go home, you listen to the wife nag and the kids bitch. You turn off the T.V., you wake up the next day and you do it all over again. But I’ll tell you, the only thing that keeps me going is this chick. I’ve got this incredible chick on the side you see, and she is so hot, I can hardly believe it. She’s got one of those heart-shaped asses. Have you ever had a chick with a heart-shaped ass?”
- Related: How to win the New Yorker cartoon caption contest (Slate)