We Are All Veruca Salt
As much as I liked Willie Wonka’s Chocolate Factory Sweepstakes I imagine that before he became a rich yet generous business maverick he went through a phase of being a complete dick animal. Like Philip Seymour Hoffman in Scent of a Woman meets Philip Seymour Hoffman in Mission Impossible 3, but gay-confused like Boogie Night’s Philip Seymour Hoffman.
In those days the diminutive Wonka would park his champagne colored four-seat Vespa in the dean’s faculty spot, and pull off his white leather riding gloves by their tassels with his teeth, in front of the poorest three students at the prep school. All of them thinking the same thing: “I hope you die on that Vespa Wonka. You chocolate smearing piece of sh*t.“
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