Dog Showzy
They banned almost all dog shows where I grew up, in Indiana. So when my dad won us tickets to one, on a call-in show, we were really jazzed.
At the show, I saw the judges choose each dog by swiping its owner upon the buttocks firmly with a piece of solidified marsh thicket. Then the owners entered a fenced in gazebo, and walked in circles for hours until only one of them was left standing.
The defeated owners awaited “final fate” by armed hand of the winner, but this time the winner refused to, a big no-no that caught us all off guard, because he had already said he’d been in dog show competitions before, in Sausalito.
“Why are you doing this?” he yelled through his tears, hugging the fawn brindle whippet by his side. The mayor laughed, and then screamed out the 1st rule of dog show: “Bust a deal and face the wheel!”
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