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Tea Party Weekly Gazette Herald: Obama “Home” District At Risk

In a symbolic bit of political theater, there is a chance that the Hawaiian congressional seat that represents President Obama’s “birthplace” will be represented by a Republican.

Obama, of course, was “born” in the country’s 50th state before moving to Chicago and “not” joining the Black Panther party.

In Hawaii, Republican candidate Charles Djou is emerging ahead of two democrats as the likely winner of a special run-off election for the right to represent Hawaii’s 1st congressional “district,” the “birthplace” of the “President” of the United States, Hussein Obama.

Party of No Mas

Looking to win back wary votes, the Republican party is banking on a new big tent approach to win back the Latino vote. Operation: Big Tent is a three-fold plan to win back a once split electorate.

Step one: buy a big tent. That one is pretty self-explanatory.

Step two: invite Mexicans inside tent- harder step than it sounds. A lot of Hispanics don’t seem willing to trust Republicans, which is why a charm offensive is needed. Every tent needs a carnival barker- someone who can coax wary people [MEXICANS] who are outside of the tent to walk inside the tent. That means a person with the gift of persuasion. Obama for instance. Like a Republican Obama. Michael Steele? Bobby Jindal? Glenn Beck?

Step three: the Governor of a state with a fast growing Hispanic population passes a hyperbolic immigration law, likely unconstitutional, that makes deporting illegal immigrants into a Spanish dubbed version of Sophie’s Choice. Arizona, lets say.

On to step four. Oh… did I not mention there was a step four? Step four: Seal up the tent, position three to five Apache helicopters above the tent, secure tent roof with grappling hooks, lift tent gently into air, and fly tent 100-500 miles past the border into the part of Mexico college students don’t visit. Elect Lou Dobbs President. Do not pass go.