Batman, Hellboy Go Back In Time. Stop John Stamos From Being Cast In Mad Men (So That It Never Happened)
Welp. New York Comic-Con was a success. I got a publisher for my self-made indie comic that I’ve been working on, on and off, for weeks now in the bathroom when I take “breaks.” Here is some preview art. Below is my pitch.
In 2007 the American Movie Classics channel, AMC for short, debuted a new pilot called Draper’s Little Secret. All of America watched two years later on DVD. It had breakout performances by little known actors Christina Hendricks, John Slattery, January Jones, and Vincent Karthees… Kartheims… Kartheisisizerdumm. Holding the show together was the charismatic lead actor who we see in the very first scene:
Opening scene: man in bar scribbles words on napkin. Is interrupted by Negro, as “Negro” is what they called them back then. That man’s name? Don Draper (not the Negros’). Don Draper as played by … John Stamos?
SAY WHAT PROFESSOR!!!
How could this happen? How could an almost flawless show suffer such a self-inflicted wound? These entertainment media questions bubbled in the brains of two brave men who all of us look up to and admire: Batman and Hellboy.
And so Batman and Hellboy build a time machine that runs on aspartame traces found in the blood stream of Gulf War veterans to travel back in time and stop John Stamos from getting himself cast as Don Draper just because “he really livened up the sides.”
They also try to stop the Yitzhak Rabin assassination until they find out that changing history twice isn’t cool. So they have to re-travel back in time, shoot Yitzhak Rabin, blame it on Zionists, and then get Matthew Weiner to change the name of his show to Mad Men because of how mad they are. OF HOW MAD WE ALL ARE.