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This bit of conversation was overheard recently at a local watering hole:

“You go on ahead. I put some tunes in. I’m gonna hang around a little bit- hear how well it goes over.”

SlapClap presents: how well it went over.

“Low Rider” by War

They finally reissued that Wild Hogs soundtrack. This song played in the scene where Martin Lawrence walked inside the diner and stared at all the white people.

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“Where Is My Mind” by The Pixies

Great song almost always played for all the wrong reasons. Reasons like: “Remember this from Fight Club? Remember that part in Fight Club? Ikea Fight Club? Remember Fight Club? Fight Club?”

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“New Song” by The Who

I’m not sure who I’m more mad at, this guy or the bar. Why is this album in the jukebox? Yeah, let’s ignore the other 7 good Who albums and go with this awful one where they try to sound like Yes doing the score to a VHS work-training video.

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“Killer Queen” by Queen

Queen is an all-time great, and this song’s not half-bad, but he skipped past “Bicycle Race,” “Ballroom Blitz,” and “Radio Ga Ga” to play it (I checked). There is no accounting for taste but sometimes it deserves going through a heavy audit.

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“Heavy Metal Drummer” by Wilco

Wilco fans are all city inspectors from the Midwest who love Golden Tee, dress like Brian Posehn and look like Brian Posehn. That’s it really. I like this song.

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“Smile Like You Mean It” by The Killers

You just know Brandon Flowers is a Republican, or something weird like that. Maybe that’s why I think of higher taxes, oil spills, and burnt popcorn when someone puts on his records.

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“Do Nothing Till You Hear from Me” by Louis Armstrong

Clap.