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Howard Stern is getting (got?) married today. I know this because today was also my first day at Sirius Satellite Radio working on a 5-day “project.” So you see, I “learned something new everyday.” I also learned INXS is a Nicholas Cage away from looking exactly like what I thought Rock music was in 1995. And that Little Stevie pronounces it Little Steven around the office.

Good luck Howard! I’m sure the ceremony won’t have anything to do with what you talk about on the radio the rest of your career.

From Lainey Gossip:

The truth is Lauren is the Hollywood American dream. Blonde, cute, perky, wholesome, virginal enough…

18 – 25 year olds want to BE Lauren Conrad.

Don’t lie. Some of you reading out there want to BE Lauren Conrad while Lauren Conrad is “being” Lauren Conrad on tv.

Does your head hurt?

But Duana’s point: didn’t we all want to BE someone else at that age?

I wanted to BE Winona Ryder. Who did you want to be?

Uncle! Let’s call a truce. Internet you stop saying things like this and I’ll stop claiming I know things then looking them up on you later. Oh, last thing: if you don’t agree to this one of these bitches is gonna die.

I can’t watch anymore of these Sarah Palin interviews with Katie Couric. For God’s sake make them stop. I’m as embarrassed watching this as I am The Maury Povich Show. I feel like I just ordered a beer from Shelly Tambo. The thing is I almost feel sorry for her. I mean she clearly just made a miscalculation. Instead of putting the private plane on eBay she should have said “thanks but no thanks” to being named Vice-President. (applause) Am I right? (applause) George Bush! (applause)

Hey I get it babe. If John McCain asked me to be envoy to China you think I’d say no? And if 15-seconds after my first press interview some snot from the AP asks me a three rejoinder question about how to hold China accountable for human right’s violations ‘while at the same time they hold over a trillion dollars of American debt,’ suddenly I’m noticing just how allergic my Down syndrome baby is to contiguous states. (I’m not sexist)

…That’s the news, and I… am… out of here!

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This is Henry Earl. He’s from Kentucky. He’s been arrested 1,333 times, usually for public intoxication or disorderly conduct. Some time near the end of October the John McCain campaign is planning to carpet bomb him into parts of Ohio, wearing just an Obama t-shirt and a Michigan football helmet - just a hunch.

(click for trailer)

Zing! Dana Stevens kinda says it all, and in that pithy yet sarcastic internet way that the Harry Knowle’s of the world can only dream approaching. Edelstein would be proud.

Thank God we have another film about the fantasies, hang-ups, unintentional cruelties, and eventual redemption of a fucked-up straight white guy. For a moment there, I had almost forgotten to keep such dudes at the forefront of my concerns. But when Chuck Palahniuk—the cult author of Fight Club and the novel that inspired Clark Gregg’s Choke (Fox Searchlight)—is on the premises, self-destructive, Oedipally fixated slackers everywhere can rest safe in the knowledge that at last they have a voice in pop culture.

(Slate.com)

Bruce Weber, an obituary writer, is answering questions from readers.

Q. Isn’t killing people then getting paid to write about it illegal?

Q. Getting laid- an unbelievable release point for pent-up grief and angst, or shameful exposure of all the passion and desire you’ve repressed while “just doing your job” in your mother’s basement?

Q. What time is it on your end?

Q. How many times do you get confused for A.O. Scott at parties?

Q. Was Jeremy Piven’s performance as Dean Kansky in the movie Serendipity an accurate enough portrayal of your profession?

A. (…)

Talk to the Newsroom: Bruce Weber (nyt)

“I mean you get it right?”

“Yes.”

“It was a movie. Mr & Mrs. …”

“Will!”

“I’m just saying. You could have worn the fucking hat.”

8 Union Square South
At University Place

This glassy dud rises on the site of a little drama that took place in 2005 when workers pulverized a quirky glass stairwell tower in a 1949 building by Morris Lapidus—just as the Landmarks commission was issuing its protective decree. Its successor is utterly generic. (New York mag)

It’s so hard hanging out with architects. There’s no air in the room once someone’s had a conversation about the principles of Form-Z. I’m supposed to talk about a new season of Heroes after that? “You know what Libeskind’s designs remind me of? … That show Fringe.”

And their criticisms- yikes do those sting. How could they not when it’s about something as permanent as a building. It’d be like if smart people in station wagons parked on your lawn and had a lot to say about your forearm tattoo, like that it’s “dull and expedient.”

Related:

Filed by SlapClap Political Deputy Producer Gills Dupree

ST. PAUL, Minnesota (SlapClap) — Historic first (second?) night here on the floor of the G.O.P. National Convention. Fred Thompson kicked things off with a speech, followed by a tribute video to Americans, another speech (this time via satellite), music sang by girl, and a keynote address by Democrat Independent Sen. Joe Lieberman. Reporter Gills Dupree caught up with the senator on the convention floor and filed this interview.

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LEFT: A man modeled a Burberry umbrella in Vogue that costs about $200. Some 456 million Indians live on less than $1.25 a day.

RIGHT: In Vogue India magazine, a child from a poor family modeled a Fendi bib, which costs about $100.

(from NYTimes)

“You must kill the Prime Minister of Malaysia” announces Vogue magazine in their best Mugatu falsetto.