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There’s a New York Times article too.

Howard Stern is getting (got?) married today. I know this because today was also my first day at Sirius Satellite Radio working on a 5-day “project.” So you see, I “learned something new everyday.” I also learned INXS is a Nicholas Cage away from looking exactly like what I thought Rock music was in 1995. And that Little Stevie pronounces it Little Steven around the office.

Good luck Howard! I’m sure the ceremony won’t have anything to do with what you talk about on the radio the rest of your career.

From Lainey Gossip:

The truth is Lauren is the Hollywood American dream. Blonde, cute, perky, wholesome, virginal enough…

18 – 25 year olds want to BE Lauren Conrad.

Don’t lie. Some of you reading out there want to BE Lauren Conrad while Lauren Conrad is “being” Lauren Conrad on tv.

Does your head hurt?

But Duana’s point: didn’t we all want to BE someone else at that age?

I wanted to BE Winona Ryder. Who did you want to be?

Uncle! Let’s call a truce. Internet you stop saying things like this and I’ll stop claiming I know things then looking them up on you later. Oh, last thing: if you don’t agree to this one of these bitches is gonna die.

See what my brain just did? Now watch this.

(Deleted scene)

(Table Read)

And wouldn’t I be remiss if I didn’t recommend you check out my weekly 30 Rock recaps over at TVwithoutPity.com? Yes. Yes I would.

Two big albums landed in our laps this month: Metallica’s Death Magnetic and TV on the Radio’s Dear Science, and they’re as different as their album names suggest…

First SlapClap contributor Marty Cassidy weighs in on Death Magnetic and the mastering controversy that surrounds the new record then I offer some first thoughts on Dear Science which, as far as I can tell, was engineered by elves.

I can’t watch anymore of these Sarah Palin interviews with Katie Couric. For God’s sake make them stop. I’m as embarrassed watching this as I am The Maury Povich Show. I feel like I just ordered a beer from Shelly Tambo. The thing is I almost feel sorry for her. I mean she clearly just made a miscalculation. Instead of putting the private plane on eBay she should have said “thanks but no thanks” to being named Vice-President. (applause) Am I right? (applause) George Bush! (applause)

Hey I get it babe. If John McCain asked me to be envoy to China you think I’d say no? And if 15-seconds after my first press interview some snot from the AP asks me a three rejoinder question about how to hold China accountable for human right’s violations ‘while at the same time they hold over a trillion dollars of American debt,’ suddenly I’m noticing just how allergic my Down syndrome baby is to contiguous states. (I’m not sexist)

…That’s the news, and I… am… out of here!

Everybody Wants to Rule the World

Please, please, pretty please Daily Show keep following these old Jews around during the Presidential election. It’s the realest voter segment on television news.

This is Henry Earl. He’s from Kentucky. He’s been arrested 1,333 times, usually for public intoxication or disorderly conduct. Some time near the end of October the John McCain campaign is planning to carpet bomb him into parts of Ohio, wearing just an Obama t-shirt and a Michigan football helmet - just a hunch.

Wiig we love you.