His Name is Earl
This is Henry Earl. He’s from Kentucky. He’s been arrested 1,333 times, usually for public intoxication or disorderly conduct. Some time near the end of October the John McCain campaign is planning to carpet bomb him into parts of Ohio, wearing just an Obama t-shirt and a Michigan football helmet - just a hunch.
Just Kidding
Wiig we love you.
Paul Newman (1925 - 2008)
“It’s not enought that you just have talent, you got to have character too.”
From the NYT obit (not written by Bruce Weber):
“We are such spendthrifts with our lives,” Mr. Newman once told a reporter. “The trick of living is to slip on and off the planet with the least fuss you can muster. I’m not running for sainthood. I just happen to think that in life we need to be a little like the farmer, who puts back into the soil what he takes out.”
Gag
(click for trailer)
Zing! Dana Stevens kinda says it all, and in that pithy yet sarcastic internet way that the Harry Knowle’s of the world can only dream approaching. Edelstein would be proud.
Thank God we have another film about the fantasies, hang-ups, unintentional cruelties, and eventual redemption of a fucked-up straight white guy. For a moment there, I had almost forgotten to keep such dudes at the forefront of my concerns. But when Chuck Palahniuk—the cult author of Fight Club and the novel that inspired Clark Gregg’s Choke (Fox Searchlight)—is on the premises, self-destructive, Oedipally fixated slackers everywhere can rest safe in the knowledge that at last they have a voice in pop culture.
Bruce Weber, an Obituary Writer
Bruce Weber, an obituary writer, is answering questions from readers.
Q. Isn’t killing people then getting paid to write about it illegal?
Q. Getting laid- an unbelievable release point for pent-up grief and angst, or shameful exposure of all the passion and desire you’ve repressed while “just doing your job” in your mother’s basement?
Q. What time is it on your end?
Q. How many times do you get confused for A.O. Scott at parties?
Q. Was Jeremy Piven’s performance as Dean Kansky in the movie Serendipity an accurate enough portrayal of your profession?
A. (…)
Weapon X
I call this one “seeing the pattern.” It’s like I told Uncle Frank: “Uncle Frank. Brad Pitt is gay and he’s been weaponized by the government to make love to Ahmadinejad and then pillow assasinate him.”
Related: Gay Bombs, written over a year ago (yes by me).
Letterman. Repeat.
More Letterman. Keep this up and I’ll have to devote a Tumblr to you, ya old coot.
Updated: A NYPost story on the pissed off CBS execs who didn’t like Letterman using a live feed of CBS News during his show.
Asked if CBS officials had a problem with Letterman using the internal news feed, a spokeswoman for “The Evening News” refused to address the issue. But several CBS News executives - who asked not to be identified - said that the stunt did not go down well within the news division.
“If we had done something like that to him, someone around here would end up getting fired,” one said.
News officials found out Letterman was using the internal feed shortly after it showed up on an internal CBS feed carrying the “Late Show” taping. “They were pretty aggravated,” a CBS News source told The Post. “But they were not about to start a fight with Letterman,” the source said. “We’re in the middle of a heavy, heavy news cycle and Letterman is Letterman. “He does whatever he wants and always has.”
Right-Side-Up
I don’t know. The magic may well be gone when some kid watching you hang upside down 60 hours straight zones out to his Girl Talk playlist.
(via NYMag)
Fox and the Hedgehog
I wondered what a girl would be like, so the chorus to ‘I Kissed a Girl’ just showed up in my head, and I thought, ‘Wow, some interesting subject matter popped up from nowhere’
I was in love with this girl that worked at the Body Shop [a strip club on Sunset Boulevard]. I decided that I was going to get her to love me back, and I went out of my way to create a relationship with this girl, a stripper named Nikita. I was there all the time—I would go there by myself. I bought her things—perfume, body spray, girlie stuff. I turned into a weird middle-aged married man.
C’est La Vie
“Won’t someone tell me … where the heck can I find information on this album and where online can I buy it!”
Above: A YouTube comment. And then I hugged my computer.
Elevators
Conversations overheard on New York elevators at different times, on different days.
Man: “So do you still have that crazy neighbor?”
Woman: “No, well … me and my boyfriend broke-up.”
Man: “Oh.”
Woman: “Yeah, so I moved out. I have different neighbors now. Equally annoying.”
Man: “Well I’m sorry to hear that. I had no idea.”
Woman: “No, it’s okay. It was for the best.”
Man: “Well when did it happen if I may?”
Woman: “April. Late April. It’s fine. Really.”
Man: “And you’re in Brooklyn or Manhattan? Brooklyn.”
Woman: “Brooklyn, yeah-yeah. Prospect Heights. Across the street from the museum. I love it.”
Ding!
Woman: “Well take care.”
Man: “Okay, bye.”
Exit
Old Woman: “Be careful what you ask.”
Woman: Did you see Chrissy come in?
Man: Yeah! Yeah, I did. She looks great.
Woman: And so happy.
Man: I know.
Woman: She seems so happy now. She’s wearing jeans all the time!
Invisible City
You may have heard about construction on the world’s newest, biggest penis substitute Burj Dubai? It’s so big it gives the world an erection. Anyway this is an actual view of the city of Dubai - not a photoshop - from the construction site on a foggy day (another view here). It’s like the missing chapter from an Italo Calvino book. Dreamy.
How Ordinary People Become Monsters…
Doppelgänger
The photography of Cornelia Hediger. Strongly recommend giving it a look through.
Harlan Ellison
The Martin Scorsese of getting paid for shit.
Sock It To Me
One Short a Three-way
“I mean you get it right?”
“Yes.”
“It was a movie. Mr & Mrs. …”
“Will!”
“I’m just saying. You could have worn the fucking hat.”
Double Down on Enthusiasm
Clap.
Wire, The
This has gotta be lifted from The Jeffersons.
Wire Tour Dates
Oct 05: Le National, Montreal, Canada
Oct 06: Barrymore’s, Ottawa, Canada
Oct 07: Lee’s Palace, Toronto, Canada
Oct 08: Middle East Downstairs, Cambridge, MA, USA
Oct 09: The Fillmore at Irving Plaza, New York, NY, USA [WFMU Free Music Show]
Oct 10: Johnny Brenda’s, Philadelphia, PA, USA
Oct 11: 9:30 Club, Washington DC, USA
Oct 12: Variety Playhouse, Atlanta, GA, USA
Oct 14: The Echoplex, Los Angeles, CA, USA
Oct 15: The Fillmore, San Francisco, CA, USA
Oct 16: The Commodore Ballroom, Vancouver, BC, Canada
Oct 17: First Avenue, Minneapolis, MN, USA
Oct 18: Metro, Chicago, IL, USA
Wire complete with new tour, new album, even new YouTube channel. Maybe it makes up for not collecting royalties for that 1994 Elastica jack move. Speaking of which, I’m not accusing The Cure of anything (anything!), but don’t those first few chords from “Ex Lion Tamer” sound a little familiar- like “Just Like Heaven” familar?
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How to Lose the New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest
The New Yorker refuses to publish my submissions to their cartoon caption contest. I have no idea why. This week was tough.
SlapClap Caption:
Next week on Prison Break?
Miracle at St. Anna
Falling Through the Earth
Excerpted from Ernie Hudson’s memoir “Ghosts I Am Afraid Of.”
Chapter 3
“I had been past 8 hours in the well. I could tell by the movement of the sun. The sun. I had traced its declining path this entire time, incapable as I was of viewing it beyond perception, like some tenant of an old faith, but as it began to set it was suddenly removed and in its wake was the warm face of Ray Parker Jr.’s father, Ray Parker Sr. It was my first run-in with a family I came to know in time as my own.”
We Bite
Wurster. Misfits. The Best Show on WFMU. More (much more) on that TK.



















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